SuperWoman Battles Her Best Intentions. And Pasta.

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You know how in superhero movies, the superhero does not kill the evil villain on the first try? Or sometimes, even the second? And then, finally, when one evil villain is zapped into outer space, another one shows up in the sequel?

That’s a little big what SuperWoman’s life is like post-cleanse.

She did well. She did swimmingly, in fact. No bread, sugar, coffee, gluten, dairy, soy or alcohol for 21 days. She felt clean inside. Her mind was calm and peaceful—maybe even too calm and peaceful. And then, when the cleanse was over, she decided she’d mainly stick to her diet. She’d still have that apple with almond butter in the morning rather than rushing back to her one true love, peanut butter (which, to be honest, seems like a cheap date now after all those almonds). She’d eat the hummus and carrots for lunch rather than sinking her teeth into French fries or a slice of pizza. She was going to stay good.

Until a weekend without her kids hit, when she went to the beach to visit with her Italian side of the family. There were martinis and red wine. There was bread doused in olive oil. There were meatballs. Oh, were there meatballs. (With clumps of ricotta.) And there was lots of Fra Diavolo getting thrown around. Fra Diavolo with all kinds of fish and long, succulent pasta noodles. And desserts, like Key Lime Pie. She didn’t even know she liked Key Lime Pie.

It was a disgrace to her poor cleansed body, she has to say.

And if that weren’t bad enough, SuperWoman is, in the last week and a half, becoming addicted to lattes. She is not so enamored with coffee anymore. No, she wants a daily latte. Which is enough to break the bank, anyone knows.

Was this cleanse a good idea, she wonders, if she’s now going to zig-zag in the opposite direction? For some reason, her mind is telling her now that since she doesn’t have to adhere to such a strict diet, she can eat whatever she wants every day. And that’s a bad road to go down.

(Oh, and by the way, that yoga for 30 days thing? Also not going so well. She’s missed four days already. Four.) 

SuperWoman might need to call in back-up to get herself back into tip-top shape. Her best intentions about being a superhero who eats well, exercises daily, and makes all good decisions keeps getting knocked to the wayside.

But here’s the upside, the positive thing, the way that SuperWoman has grown: she’s not going to get all judgmental and critical about all of this. She is going to take deep breaths and be compassionate with herself. She is going to remind herself that backslides happen, that one needs to live her life, that perfection is not possible, that she has to mix in a little fun here and there.

She is going to remind herself of all of that, and then she is going to stand up again. And again, and again, and again, and fight those evil suckers as they come at her with more and more delicacies and desires.

Because SuperWoman doesn’t bow before evil villains, and tomorrow is another day.

 

 

Image: “mmm…shrimp fra diavolo” by jeffreyw via Flickr

The People Who Make Life Grand

There are a host of characters that accompany SuperWoman on her journeys.

Ka-Pow! These are the people that help make life grand.

The Progeny

TalkMonster

The eldest of SuperWoman’s children, TalkMonster is a worrier who shows his dimples only rarely–if you’re lucky enough to make him laugh. He thinks he’s the man of the house because SuperWoman doesn’t have one of those, so he kind of is. Tells his sisters what to do, and is usually right. In general, he’s usually right. Negotiates all the time—and it’s quite hard to resist his reasoning. SuperWoman thinks he might become a lawyer one day. Or a director of Human Resources. Or both.

Oh, and he recently used the word “simpatico.”

WonderMess

Give this girl an ice cream cone and you will find it on every part of her body. Tell her to put on a sneaker and she will go through the day with it inevitably untied. And chocolate? Forget about chocolate. You’ll be finding that in the cracks of her mouth for a couple of days after. But she has magical hands that touch you and make you feel warm and loved—that’s her superpower. Kindness and love. Oh, and climbing the monkey bars. There’s no dude her age who can beat her at doing that.

BeautyQueen

BeautyQueen has been brought up with two older siblings and a mom and dad who think she is the most adorable thing to ever grace the earth and so she kind of believes she can do anything she wants. This description might make her sound like a brat, but she is not a brat. She is just a girl who can kind of do anything she wants. When she was born, she had a Buddha face and smiled at two-weeks old. (SuperWoman kids you not.) Her first words were “Thank you.” Enough said.

The Tribe

MotherBear

Protective as hell, MotherBear will walk through fire for the people she loves. Seriously, walk through fire. Or jump in a pool. There was this one time she jumped in a pool to save TalkMonster and it kind of f-ed up her back afterward. But she wouldn’t have had it every other way. Seriously, though, get that woman some Ben-Gay.

Mama-the-Grand 

She’s the wise old matriarch of SuperWoman’s family, even though she’d never tell you she’s wise. She would probably get mad about being called old. But she’d probably also  agree she’s getting old. Anyway, Mama-the-Grand is special as she is humble and all of her many grandchildren know it. She likes to talk about the old days, when things were easier and simpler, even though the old days gave her a run for her money and would seem way harder to anyone living them now. Her soul food is grilled cheese.

Other Fun Beings

Cat-Eye

Can she return a text message within 48 hours? Maybe. Does she send one on her own? Probably not. Does she think she can bend time to her will? Of course. But that’s all okay, because her wit and good nature make up for any areas not as bright and piercing as her beautiful green eyes. One look from Cat-Eye and you’re under a spell. Oh, and she’s practically SuperWoman’s sister, so don’t mess with her or you will be destroyed.

Ms. Myra Mason

This cat moves from one spot, then the other, then the other, then the other, to sleep, as most cats do. But mostly, she wants to relax in the mix of things. She also tries to run out the front door, but she’s getting better about that. She wants to see what SuperWoman sees, go where SuperWoman goes, find adventure. She talks a lot, too, especially at meal times, thinking SuperWoman can understand her. And maybe SuperWoman does. It’s weird. But Myra is like the wise old crone woman trapped in a cat’s body, sitting on SuperWoman’s meditation pillow in the apartment, getting enlightened, or something.

 

More coming soon….